How To Develop Your Natural Magnetism
By 1955 Marilyn Monroe had already been the sex symbol of Hollywood. She had a history of several headline affairs, more than 20 screen appearances and a stunning fame.
Having this in mind, the photographer considered her experiment dangerous. But Marilyn was adamant – she wanted to prove that success and glory start with inner feelings and actions. So, not a movie star but an ordinary woman Norma Jeane Mortenson (Marilyn Monroe’s real name) walked down into the New York subway, accompanied by a photographer.
And… No one recognized her.
Marilyn Monroe in the New York subway, 1955
She felt ordinary, plain and emanated such energy. But after the ride she went out, smiled at the photographer and asked: “Well, are you ready to see Her? THE Marilyn?” She swayed her hair back, struck a pose, and hordes of admirers rushed to her.
That is how the Hollywood star dispelled the myth that charisma is an innate quality.
So what exactly is charisma?
Charisma is an ability to combine natural magnetism that everybody possesses, with excellent communication skills, where communication is not only the way you talk. It is your posture, gestures, emotions shown on your face – in a word, the way you present yourself to the world. Is it possible to learn that?
Definitely yes. In a laboratory setting scientists even managed to increase and decrease the level of charisma, as if they were turning a dial. They just asked the people who took part in the experiment to demonstrate this or that “charismatic” behavior. Marilyn Monroe in her experiment did the same, turning her charisma on and off. This way it was proven that charisma is a result of a certain behavior.
Why do many people still consider charisma an innate quality?
The point is, in most cases people develop this quality at a young age, without knowing that they act charismatically. Performing particular actions and seeing their results, a child instinctively repeats them over and over. Besides, a child surrounded with love, frequently complimented and admired, has more chances to become a charismatic adult than the one who was always criticized.
Compliment on your children’s behavior more and support their creativity to help them unravel their charisma
So, adults with lower confidence will need more time to become charismatic. But it is still possible. And important to do – charisma makes people like you, trust you, listen to your ideas and help you achieve your goals much faster.
What helps you develop your charisma?
1. Boost self-confidence
Start with your body. Regular sports activities and clothes that make you feel like a million dollars, can do wonders to your self-esteem. As for other ways to build your confidence, try not to depreciate yourself or take critical comments from those who have low weight in your eyes. The only person worth to be compared with is you, yesterday or a year ago.
2. Improve your communication skills
You should be able to start a conversation with anyone, ask open questions, take the conversation in the right direction and make people feel comfortable in your presence. All these topics are much addressed on my Facebook public page about networking. So I suggest you take a look and implement.
3. Mind your body language
First, don’t forget to straighten your shoulders and smile sincerely. Another great way to win people over is to mirror their gestures, posture or mimics, that means copy them with a minor delay. This trick works with a person’s subconsciousness and creates sympathy or invisible connection between you. But don’t overdo mirroring, or people may think that you ape them.
4. Be a good listener
When you are not present, people immediately feel it. Even if you’re not yawning or checking your mail on the phone, the other person instantly sees that your thoughts are somewhere else. So, keep an eye contact, nod, ask questions, address the person by name. If you are not interested in the conversation, delicately end it and move to other people.
5. Look up to people you consider charismatic
The easiest way to accomplish something is to look at the people who have already achieved the goal you set for yourself, and do what they did. Watch people that are charismatic, in your opinion. Actors, politicians, musicians, successful entrepreneurs – most of them possess charisma, otherwise they wouldn’t have become who they are. Analyze the way they behave, communicate, gesture, their signature moves if any. Try to pattern yourself on them. After all, developing your charisma is a cut-and-try way. But believe me, it’s worth it.
Charismatic George Clooney is certain: charisma can and should be developed