How to communicate with high-status people
Think of the celebrities that you adored as a teenager. I bet in your room there was a poster of a popular band (perhaps more than one) or your favorite actor’s photographs. But have you ever talked to these people face-to-face? If so, Iet me hazard a guess that you timidly took their autograph and left. If you were a teen in the 21st century, then you probably asked for a selfie instead of an autograph.
Despite the fact that business events do not resemble a rock or a pop concert, I often notice there the same tendencies from the past. People line up to take a picture with the speaker or ask to sign a book.
Photos here and further: www.unsplash.com
However, a conversation with a famous or a high-status person can be much more productive. Instead of another meaningless selfie for Instagram, you can, for example, do the following:
- get useful advice
- ask a question related to the person’s field of expertise, that you couldn’t find an answer to
- in the long run, you can even ask the person to become your mentor
So, how can you start a conversation with someone who is famous, high-ranking or both?
1. Calm down
First of all, do not act like a teenage girl who met a pop idol. Even if you are excited, try to make your breathing as smooth as possible and speak in a measured manner. Remember that celebrities are normal people who value a human attitude.
2. Say “thank you” and pay sincere compliments
A win-win option is to start with a compliment and gratitude. Be sincere, because one can feel right away if you’re faking it. At the event, thank the speaker for the presentation and highlight the part that you found most useful or inspiring. Thus, you make the person understand that you actually listened. And this is very important and flattering to any speaker.
Lifehack
Picture this: you found out that there would be an important speaker at the event and you have decided to talk to him. It is better to do this before his speech, and not after. After the performance, you can be outrun by a “crowd of enthusiastic admirers” who will want to take pictures or get an autograph.
Another option: you recently read a book written by this person or watched an interview with him. Also, thank him for it and let him know what produced the biggest impression on you. Note a specific excerpt, advice, recommendation, which you liked most.
For example: “The other day I read your interview for the Forbes magazine. As a startupper, I was very inspired by your tips for young entrepreneurs, especially the one where you…”.
This approach is a great way to continue the conversation, and do it in detail, not in general terms.
3. Find something in common and ask a relevant question
Try to find common ground with the person and ask a question that will help you two connect. For example: “You wrote in your book that your first business was a flower shop. I’m currently opening a flower shop in my city. May I ask you a short question regarding the loyalty program for the customers?”
Simplify the task for the other party. Your question should be as specific as possible and imply a short answer. Therefore, it’s better to leave out such global issues as “What to consider when choosing a supplier?” or “How do I register my business?”
4. Keep it short and listen more
When opening the conversation, try to limit yourself to 30 seconds (or better – even less). There is no sense in telling the story of your life, even if it is directly related to your conversation partner. Respect the other person’s time.
And, of course, try to talk about yourself as little as possible. Show sincere interest in other people, ask open-ended questions and listen carefully. That way you will get much more benefit from the conversation.
5. Be the first to end the conversation
Since you started the talk, it is logical that you finish it. Say, for example: “I won’t keep you any longer.” Then thank the other person and wish him or her a nice day. If you see that the person is in a good mood, then all right, ask for a selfie or an autograph. But better ask for a permission to add them as friends on social networks. Thus, you will have a better opportunity to build a further relationship.
How to get through to a person on social networks
Despite the high technologies and unlimited possibilities of online communication, I still remain committed to face-to-face contacts, especially if you decided to meet a high-status person. Just imagine how many emails and messages they receive daily.
But if you can’t attend any event where you might meet them, try to start communicating through social networks. Here are the simplest ways to do this.
1. Determine the social network which the person uses most often
Every social media user has a favorite communication channel. Someone prefers Instagram, others give priority to Facebook or Twitter. Choose the network where the person you need writes more posts and responds to comments more often.
2. Leave interesting comments and questions under their posts
The key word here is “interesting”. This does not include the “thumb up” icon and other emojis, or such words as “Super!” or “Nice pic!” An intelligent or witty comment is more likely to be noticed.
3. Tag people in your posts
Tags are not only meant to mark your friends on your photos. You can use them to get the attention of the people you need. Again, do not put tags without any comments. It’s also a bad idea to put something like “@Bill Gates is simply WOW!” Create a post that can cause discussion and interest the person tagged, for example: “The recent article by @Bill Gates amazed me. I have been working in the IT area for quite a while, but it’s for the first time that I learned that…”
4. Send a private message
You can try to send a private message to the person, but only if you have something to get him or her interested. For example, you’ve both been in the same situation. In this case, you can ask a specific question or ask for advice. But best of all, before writing, think about how you can be useful.
For example, you are an event organizer and you want to invite a high-status person to speak at your conference. Or you have an idea for an interview with him or her. In your message, focus on what’s in there for the person, not you. That way you get a chance to receive an answer.
I hope I managed to convince you that high-status people are not much different from others, and nothing human is alien to them. Use these guidelines to communicate with them, and it is possible that some of them will become your friends:
1. Try to cope with emotions. Do not show how much you are excited about meeting this person. Remember that most of them are simple people.
2. Say “thank you” and pay sincere compliments. Make it clear that you follow the person’s activity, and not just recognized him or her in a crowd.
3. Find something in common between you and ask a relevant question.
4. Keep it short, listen more and be the first to end the conversation.
5. At the end of the talk ask for a permission to add the person as a friend on social networks.
6. Find out on which social network the person appears most often, tag them in your posts and comment on theirs. Try to make your comments valuable and substantial.
7. Send a private message, if you can be useful to the person or you have something to get him or her interested.