How to communicate with your nearest and dearest
In my speeches, on this blog and social networks, I talk a lot about building relationships with partners, clients, investors. But networking is not just a business tool. It is a universal tool that will also help you reach harmony with the most special people: your significant other, parents, children and close friends. Do not take them for granted. On the contrary, make the relationship with them your top priority, because they are the most important people in your life.
What is the main difference between networking in business and in personal life? I would say that it is the degree of trust, openness, and frankness. Despite the fact that I always stand for sincerity, it’s hardly worth telling a stranger everything your heart is filled with. There are still certain borders between you and it’s too early to pass them.
However, in relations with your nearest and dearest, clarity and openness is the best strategy. An example of such communication can be father’s appeal to his son: “I got really upset that you were rude to mom.” These words are extremely clear and frank. In addition, the father does not judge or criticize his son, but simply talks about his feelings in regards to what his son did. But, describing his emotions, he easily makes it clear what his stance on the situation is.
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There are many ways to communicate with your loved ones and improve the quality of your relationships. I will dwell on some of them.
1. Communicate frequently
After a heartfelt reunion with friends or relatives, there is always someone who says: “We must get together more often.” Indeed, people of the 21st century are so busy that they rarely get to spend time with their loved ones, even if it’s about a family where everyone lives in the same house.
What can be done in this case? Find opportunities to communicate during the day. Chat in the car, turn off the TV during dinner and exchange news, talk to your children or read to them before going to bed. You can even hold regular “family meetings” to discuss important issues and events of the past week. There are many creative ways to find time to communicate with your family. You just need to choose the one that suits you all.
2. Be an active listener
This advice is also suitable for business networking. Being an active listener does not mean being silent and pretending that you are very interested. It means doing your best to understand the other party. To do this, you can ask clarifying questions, for example: “Did I understand you correctly that …?” or “What do you mean by ….?” A good question is half the good answer and the ability to listen is half the effective communication.
3. Set networking goals
I always recommend setting specific networking goals, for example, “get acquainted with the head of the company X”, “ask John Doe to introduce me to Jane Doe”, etc. In personal life, setting networking goals is equally important. They can be quite simple, say, texting each relative at least once a week. Also, you can come up with a family tradition, for example, a monthly “family retreat” to spend time together, despite the general workload and different agendas.
4. Show interest in each other’s hobbies
It’s ok to have completely different hobbies with your soul mate. But some women still manage to go to a football game with their husbands and some men accompany their wives to the movies to see a new melodrama. Imagine how much joy you can bring to your kids if you ask them to teach you to play their favorite computer game. When you participate in each other’s hobbies, you become closer. Moreover, you may become interested yourself, and then your interests will become common.
5. Remember about non-verbal communication
Imagine that you make a declaration of love in a raised voice. Will anyone believe you? It is important that your verbal and non-verbal communication coincide, otherwise you run the risk of being misunderstood or mistrusted. Watch your intonation, your facial expression, posture, and gestures. And make sure they don’t contradict your words. For example, if you tell a person that you are listening to him or her, you at least have to maintain eye contact.
6. Do not judge or hesitate to apologize
Some people are always looking for someone to blame. In relationships with your loved ones, this tactic is especially damaging. Do not blame or judge them, because each of us is far from perfect. It is better to ask questions to understand what the problem is and how to solve it together. Even if you feel you are right, do not hesitate to be the first to say sorry. This will instantly reduce tension and create an even stronger bond between you.
7. Start a difficult conversation with something positive
Probably, every man is afraid to hear from a woman: “We need to talk.” In this case, the conversation framework is already set incorrectly, and therefore the participants do not expect anything good from it. Instead, start with something positive. Tell your partner about a funny thing that happened at work today or share some other good news. Then smoothly bring the conversation to the problem you want to discuss.
8. Limit yourself to one or two topics
When people finally find time for a serious conversation, it turns out that they have a whole list of mutual complaints and they are ready to pour them all out. It’s not a good idea. Better to have one or two topics for discussion. Remember that the other party, most likely, also has a lot to tell you.
As I said before, the relationships with your nearest and dearest should always be priority number 1. If you agree with this, then try to do at least one thing from this list, so that your communication is built on complete trust and unconditional love.
- Try to be as clear and open as possible. Speak about your feelings and the emotions caused by your soul mate’s actions.
- Communicate often. If you live together, find time to talk during the day: in the car, at dinner, at bedtime, etc.
- Be an active listener. Make every effort to understand the other party’s point of view.
- Set networking goals and achieve them.
- Show interest and participate in each other’s hobbies.
- Make sure that your body language does not contradict your words.
- Do not judge or hesitate to apologize even if you feel you are right.
- If there is a need for a difficult conversation, start it with something positive.
- Instead of a long list of claims, limit yourself to one or two topics for discussion.